I met with Dr. Fleener before treatment today. I've been bleeding since my IUD has been out, so we basically just decided to talk to Dr. Jansky and now we are all leaning toward just removing my ovaries. I'll discontinue the Zoladex shot and hopefully have less to worry about with estrogen. We will wait until after my next MRI, just to be sure I'm good to go for surgery. (This is really an easy one, especially with everything I've had!)
I am still doing Perjeta, for now. I'll finish the Ibrance sample I'm on, but most likely not take it, as insurance won't approve because it's only FDA approved for breast cancer patients who are NOT Her2+. I'll stay on Letrosole, though. We are also trying to take away the benadryl I usually take to see if that will cut out a little on my treatment time + my tiredness.
And, the sweetest thing of all:
Before the end of the appointment, my sweet angel doctor complimented me. She smiled and expressed that she was so grateful for my sweet spirit and that I was able to smile and laugh and bring some lightness to the office, as it's a rarity. Even though she knows that I'm probably not always like this, she was grateful for my outlook and positivity. I just really love her.
I was so touched that she brought this up because I was pondering today's appointment late last night and thought of a passage of scripture:
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear;
but of power,
and of love,
and of a sound mind.
{2 Timothy 1:7}
I'm also so grateful for my faith in God, who knows me and knows the path He has for me. There are so many things I want to be here for, so many special moments that won't be the same if cancer takes over, but I am so much better when I don't worry, stay positive, and remove fear from my outlook.
True, I've had sad days and days of worry, but I've been at this battle long enough to know that hope and peace and love bring much better results. I've always been so grateful for the blessing of an alert mind, and love that this passage adds that into something that can help me not have fear for my future, but to rely on the power of God and on His love and the love of others.
As I continued reading, this passage had even more meaning:
Be not thou therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord,
but be thou partaker of the afflictions of the gospel
according to the power of God;
Who hath saved us,
and called us with an holy calling,
not according to our works,
but according to his own purpose and grace,
which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began,
We all have afflictions and trials. The phrase "afflictions of the gospel" was new to me. I've heard it said over and over that "trials are for our learning and growth" or "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." To me, this scripture summarized that trials are part of life and of the "good news" of God: He is teaching us and testing us to make more out of us than we could without Him. Sometimes it hurts, but when we focus on His love and power, that's when fear leaves.
Thinking of my own trials....
When I endure those afflictions without fear and with the power of God to help me, I am helping to build and share my testimony of the Lord's influence and power in my life.
He has saved me in many ways and has a purpose for me in this life. I pray that I can continue to follow it.
