Another Infusion Day.....Or, Is It?

 This week's chemo already started out a little different than usual.  My aunt came into town to be my driver and fellow mischief-maker, while my regular friend was recovering from surgery.  

We had an early start (8:30) and got going right back to the lab, where my port was accessed and viles of blood taken.  So far, so good.  

With no wait at all, I was escorted to Dr. Cole's side of the office, and Mike the Nurse went to the waiting area to collect Auntie Deb,  so she could help me remember all the advice for the following week's instructions. 

Over the weekend, I had really developed a sharp AND dull pain in my lower-left abdomen. The pain had been dull all the time and sharp when I moved in certain ways.  Basically, I was in pain all the time.  In my mind, this felt like I expected appendicitis to feel like, but the major source of discomfort was on the wrong side for that.  Stephen suspected that the cause was of adhesions along my DEIP Flap surgical scar. 

Dr. Cole came in with happy reflections on my most recent lab results, with ALMOST everything back into normal ranges.  I was a bit anemic, but not enough to need another blood transfusion yet.  When she asked how I was feeling, I talked about this strange pain, and she did an examination.  As she pushed and prodded around my lower abdomen, she expressed that she was "not happy with how sensitive those areas are." 

Dr. Cole called to her nurses, who called down to the scanning center downstairs to fit me in for an emergency CT.  "If they don't have an opening, I'm sending you to the ER.  We need to know what's gong on."  

Just like that, the first MAJOR divergence from the day's  plan had begun.  Instead of reaching my infusion room and starting on Herceptin, I was headed downstairs.  

My last CT was also performed during these trying times, but that one only required two, large glasses of water.  Now that there was been more time to contemplate 

Once enough time had passed, I was escorted down the hall and into the scanning area.  The actual test did not take more than fifteen minutes, but the entire process of set up and waiting took a couple of hours.  What was supposed to get us out before lunch was anything but.  (And, I was especially feeling it because I only had a banana early in the morning, planning on a short day.)

 

 

We waited to STAT results, expecting another doctor visit.  Instead of another in-room explanation, we got a hallway step-out, a break in another patient's appointment to tell me the news.  

Good news first: The cancer spots HAVE ALREAD STARTED TO GO DOWN!  

(Dr. Cole wanted to jump up and down and hug me, but elbow bumps had to do.  

Bad news next: The pain was being caused by an infection around my colon.  

Not-so-terrible news: It should be cured with an antibiotic infusion and some steroids, plus a 10-day treatment of antibiotic pills.  

*BEST NEWS: The pain was only a colon infection, and NOT more cancer! 

We FINALLY made it to the infusion rooms!  

I FINALLY got to get back on track, but not really.  

I am staying off the chemo for another three weeks, hoping to rise out of anemia and allow my body to tally heal this infection.  

Even with all the changes and unknowns and questions and never-ending fighting, I'm still fighting.  

I had the opportunity to bring smiles and hoy to my fellow patients and to my nurses and doctors with a little gift of gratitude and love.  I was able to get some lunch and a rest and not have to focus on what to write, as I assumed today would be so quick that no writing would be able to take place.  

 

So, instead of thinking of how to describe my concerns of the day, I was able to focus on the good.  Again, I'd been given small miracles to let me know that I am known.  There are reasons why I continue to fight.  Even when my plans don't turn out as expected or I am unable to continue down the predicted treatment plan, I am not forgotten.  My life is meaningful.  I have things for which to be grateful, and prayers have been answered.  I am still fighting, but I AM STILL FIGHTING!

Chemo Day: Let's try this again (H#69)

For the past few weeks, my chemo pill dose has been cut down from 8 of one kind + 4 of the other, to 0 of one kind + 2 of the other.  The side effect differences have been negligible.  However, my labs showed vast improvement in my blood counts.  In fact, every result was in the NORMAL RANGE!!!! That means that we should automatically throw more poison in, right?  

I guess you can't truly have a powerful and successful battle if you don't have the ammo to back it all up.  With that. in mind, I am restarting the full doses of the chemo pills TONIGHT and hoping that my body will be able to keep up.  

My appointment today was so great.  Of course, good lab results trump everything, but in addition to that unexpected news,  I was able to slide through the whole schedule! I had prepared myself for a long, drawn out day, the waiting time being much longer than the actual treatment time. My last treatment day seemed to last all day, and today had that added possibility of extra delays with it being the day after the Labor Day holiday.  A day off at the cancer clinic usually means squeezing more and more patients into the time slots of the next business day.  However, there were no other patients in the waiting area.  I barely sat down, only to be called for lab work.  Then,  I was immediately taken to the appointment side of the clinic. I was shocked with the great news about my labs, but was swept off to my infusion room soon after!  Things were flowing so smoothly!  It was as if they were all reading my mind about being in a bit of a hurry to get home

Herceptin was ready to go. Only thirty minutes later, I was outta there! I barely had time to take selfies, to show that I was actually there before I was no longer there!   What a difference from the last appointment, which seemed to be so crammed with patients that each station slowed down the process to be at least three times as long as it should have been.  Long days have been my normal at the cancer clinic, which is why today's accelerated time table was such a miracle to add to my gratitude about my strong lab results.

This quicker-than-usual return of my 'beast cancer' in 2020, has added to the troubles of these trying times.  There have been many mornings when I don't want to get out of bed and have lost hope of ever having hair again and had thoughts of wanting to stop the battles and stop the fighting and remove the long appointments and side effects of chemotherapy and simply let nature take its course.  Then, I am reminded that I am not alone on this journey.  I have support from inside the walls of my home and far beyond.  I feel a pull to be an example and a light.  Cancer does not seem to ever give up, but neither do I, with the hope that God is on my side and will provide a way for all involved to feel the my husband and my children to also remain strong.  

I hope for more good days like today.  I hope for strength to keep fighting.  I hope for the ability to see the light and the blessings, even when the daily troubles seem to be especially heavy.  I will continue to fight.  

It's ALWAYS something, but it will NEVER be more of something than I will be able to handle.