After only three infusions of a new cancer-fighting drug, this chemo has moved quickly up the ranks to become my favorite ever!
It's crazy to imagine that I could ever be grateful for chemotherapy, but with all the drugs over all the years and all the different doctors and treatments, my time around the block has given me experience. I've hated being sick and losing hair. It's been debilitating to deal with weakness and low blood counts. There have been some difficult days in the past.
Just prior to Kadcyla, I was on this atrocious handful of pills. I hated them. From working with multiple pharmacies just to receive them, plus insurance to approve them, and my sometimes lacking memory of the schedule to keep up with daily administration, when each pill had differing doses and days for resting. That doesn't even include the side effects that those tiny beasts did to my body. I was sad and anxious and annoyed too often.
Now, I am on something that seems to be a perfect match for me. Dr. Cole is excited that my lab results are already looking so much more promising. She mentioned that my numbers are showing that my body is finally recovering at a better rate and starting to heal itself after each infusion. I am not scheduled for the next scans until the end of February, but if the improved blood work is any indication of Kadcycla's positive effects on helping my body to fight away the big C, the outlook is good. Instead of mostly dead, I'm more alive. I feel more healthy and less fatigued. My pain level is less, the skin on my lips and fingertips looks more like I am human and not reptilian. (My phone still does not recognize my thumbprint, but I have high hopes!) From skin tone to mental and physical energy, I feel less bogged down by bad drugs.
I finally figured out more information about how many doses I'll need of Kadcyla. Dr. Cole explained that this chemo will be my new best friend, the maintenance drug given every three weeks, for as long as it continues to work. Similar to Herceptin, then Herceptin + Perjeta, Kadcyla is the newest combination to fight the aggressiveness of my Her2 positive cancer. I have explained this drug as Herceptin with a proton pack of strong chemo. Once it's locked into a Her2 protein, there is a targeted delivery of chemo to the actual cancer cell. Targeted is a lovely word in this journey, meaning that I will not lose hair and many typical side effects traditional chemo infusions won't come my way. This drug doesn't dump poison throughout my whole body--just into cancer cells!
My cancer battle has just been given a boost of highly-advanced weaponry. I am recharged and feeling stronger and SO GRATEFUL for more time!
What a blessing it is to be rejuvenated in the fight right now, as this week marks eight years since my first cancer diagnosis. I think on the devastation and anger and fear of the unknown from back then. I was overwhelmed, just being a mother of three young children back then. Adding a cancer diagnosis knocked me off my feet. My baby had just turned one, there was not history in my family, and I was blindsided. After all these years, I still wonder why and how this came my way, but how grateful I am to have been able to still be here. That one year old is now nine, and that pre-schooler is planning for high school classes today! Every glimpse of more time and every new advancement brings me hope of more miracles.
It's been many moons of bad news and distress in our homeland and around the world. In my little world, I am looking to continue to see the good and shine the light of hope for the future. No easy task, for sure, but perhaps in days that feel dark and insurmountable in the fight against cancer, the slightest bit of good will make huge differences. Being able to spend more time with friends and loved ones and share smiles with strangers has given me purpose. Spreading my faith and sharing hope that daily life will improve as we all try to be more loving and kind is a major goal moving forward. I am working on expressing gratitude on little things, as well as the grand marvels when they happen. Just feeling those positive notes has lifted me, and start with my own circles and try to lift the hearts around me, I am hoping to see upward trends in humanity.
It's not an easy thing to imagine, trying to see the good when so much seems too had and too difficult. Everyone is suffering with sorrow and burdened by the bad, but those disparaging days don't have to be the only way to live. Who knew that I would be happy about a new chemo? I've learned over the years how the smallest joys can be freeing. Perhaps small changes of love and kindness can lead to monumental positive changes in the world. Small steps.
