The Real Enhertu #11

 It was an early day at the Cancer Clinic.   I don't love being ready to leave the house to get to there on time at this hour, especially when my children are out of school and left behind.  I did trust them to not burn the house down or break any bones while I was gone for the morning.  

The great thing about having the early appointment of the day is that you get in without delays and you get to leave closer to the expected time than if you were to be held back by the need to wait for other patients clogging up the time slots before you.  

I was in and out of the lab draw area in only a few minutes and on to the appointment with Dr. Cole's PA, Alisa.  It's sad to look around and have it hit hard that my time here is coming to an end.  I will miss the wonderful people I have met here, who work with such love and kindness and have become another cancer fighting family to me over our time spent together.  

Alisa was excited to announce that my labs ALL look great Even the liver enzymes were right on course.  We chatted about Thanksgiving day plans and the plans for my family's move to New Mexico.  I mentioned a possible UTI flare-up and requested some drugs to knock it out quickly.  (Cranberry juice just wasn't enough.)To have this request filled, I did need to pee in cup, but I was right about the problem.  My internal waste management systems just can't seem to get it right these days.  I'm either clogged up in the back or overflowing in the front.  I would just like to be able to return to homeostasis.  Until then, about all I can do is continue to experiment on what I take or drink and how much or how often to try things like powder vs. pill de-cloggers and at what point those have gone too far.  The problem increases when the opposite conditions can't find the balance betweenI needing something on board for pain, but the pain medication clogging the system right back up which then leads to the need for an equal and opposite solution.....let's just say, it's a work in progress.  

Today's treatment went smoothly, as predicted from capturing the first time slot of the day, and I was done and headed home before lunchtime.  

On this week of Thanksgiving appointment, I am reminded, yet again, of all the many things in my life for which I give thanks.  I am forever grateful for all those healthcare workers who have been part of my journey.  I said from the beginning of discovering that metastatic was forever that all I needed to do was to fight long enough for the new drug to be approved and released.  That was back in 2015, and I'm living it today.  I'm thankful for friends who give up the time to drive me to appointments and keep my spirits up.  I'm grateful for the minds that are given the inspiration and talent to develop the things to keep me alive and able to live.  The blessing of doctors who truly care is beyond words.  

As I continue to work and fight and face setbacks and rise back up to try again, I know that I would not be here without my faith and family and friends, as well as so many prayers from so many others.  I know those conversations with God have helped to lead to miracles, both great and small, straight from heaven for me and my family.   God knows me and knows that I can be an example of his love and his joy as I travel down the hard roads without giving up on seeking the light that, at times, can feel like it might be dimming. Light banishes darkness. Joy can create joy.  Love can build more love and kindness.  Expressing gratitude for blessings teaches great lessons on humility and true happiness.  

It does take time to build the necessary skills required to constantly carry on with only positive perspectives.  For some, the challenges in life tend to naturally head toward the negative, but it is possible to change out this pattern for something new.  Each step forward in the journey to overcome trials with a grateful heart, gathering recognizing and gathering joy along the way, builds strength needed to proceed.

    

Enhertu #11 That Never Was + Dermatology STAT

 After such a horrible week, why not junk it up a little more?  

Dr. Cole was not thrilled about my rash, and wanted me to take a break from Enhertu for the day.  

*Good News Alert:  Remember those scans and the high liver enzymes?  They can sometimes be side effects of the drug, but the scans showed almost no cancer in my body!  The small amount of tumors that were hanging out had all been decreased in size by half OR MORE!!!  Plus, my liver was back on track!!!!!!

God continues to provide answers to prayers and multiple miracles.  

Due to the good response in my body, Dr. Cole thought it would be a good idea to skip the infusion for the day and check with dermatology, just in case, to make sure my rash wasn't drug-induced.  

Got an appointment downtown on the LAST time of the day on Friday.  Met an AMAZING doctor, who told me that the rash was NOT drug-induced.  

IT'S STRESS INDUCED!!!!  Imagine that? 

Gave me some drugs, and sent me on my merry way.  

I really am hoping for a little bit of calm this week.  

And, for my house to sell quickly.  

And, for my children to not go missing or lose any more important items.  

Is that too much to ask?  

A Horrible, Terrible Week

 I LOVE Halloween.  The year did me wrong.  

The weather was very windy, which botched our trunk or treat decoration plans. 

I woke up on Saturday with an ugly, itchy, swollen face, and a gross, red rash on most of my body.  It didn't help that my system was VERY PLUGGED UP.  

I had no energy and could barely get out of bed.  

I am also trying to run my house with a husband not here.  I feel for all the single parents out there because it is NOT easy.  In addition to that, I'm trying to pack up and clean up my house, getting it ready to sell.  Moving is a pain, anyway, and then trying to deal with it with being sick and fighting cancer? 

Then, there's all the things that need to be done with 3 busy boys in school and their own sports practices, plus church activities.  

Then, things started breaking or going wrong around the house or on technology....2 of my least strong areas.  

I took my youngest to the doctor to work on his toe, but it was infected, so we had to push it back until antibiotic had run its course.  

I was trying to plan that son's birthday party, and the company made a huge mistake by sending an email with MAJORLY incorrect information, and they couldn't fix that until the next day.  

My oldest son had a major problem with something that needed to the addressed that day, but I couldn't fix it.  Neither could the help center for the associated app, even after three different helpers and over 2 hours of call time.  It's still not fixed!

The front door lock went haywire and took three of us and hours to fix.  A front door lock is kind of important to secure a house, especially one that is hoping to have potential buyers come walk-through.  

A part of our sprinkler system was going off, in the rain, without it being turned on.  A valve we already paid someone to fix was broken again.  It was cold and raining and muddy to turn off the water to the system, and I was glad that my youngest son was there to help.  

I had to then attend a parent/teacher conference, not the thing I felt like doing that morning before lunch.  If you're wandering what that thing would have been, it was SLEEP.  Nothing but sleep.  

Rash continued to spread, causing more itching and swelling.  Not pain, thankfully.  That was owned by the poop chute.  Still no movement.

Fixed the party problem, but had fallen behind on getting invites out.  Printer problems with that, of course.  

Feeling the loss of 4 days of the packing and staging schedule.  

Found a weird rotted-out hole on the doorway to our upstairs balcony.  Had to find someone who could come look at it on a Friday.  

Wifi went out.  

Son with Dyslexia had fallen behind from the day he was out of class for the foot appointment and helping with the muddy sprinkler turnoff.  Hours later, we still weren't caught up, and he was tired and hangry.  

Not sleeping well at all.  

Lost the youngest son for over 2 hours, no one in the neighborhood having seen him and having no idea where he went.  A search party of both his friends and moms of friends couldn't even locate him.  

Then, I felt guilty for feeling sorry for myself on all of those previous annoying things, when I could lose one of my children!]

I Finally prayed and asked for help.  Obviously, I needed it.  For a few minutes, I was broken.  I thought about how fighting this hard for this long with so much pain, stress, and frustration just might not be what I want to do anymore.  

Then, I took a break, ate some food, and took a moment to listen to my heart.  

Son was found.

Wifi and tv problems fixed.

Found someone to work on the sprinkler.  

Found someone else to look at the house.  

The front door lock mystery was solved.  

I was finally cleared up--on the outside and inside!

So grateful for new days and things that seem like the end of the world in the moment, but are not so back with a simple change in perspective.