MRI

As if there wasn't enough stress and procedures and things to do at home and rest that I needed, I had the privilege of heading back the next day for an MRI.  I had to go fasting, and that was the hardest part.  If I could just have some water!!!!

Rolled out of bed.  Dana was there to take me.  I was very weak, so we called ahead for a wheelchair.  

 

Dana, having fun while I was in the test.  

Thankfully, I had an AMAZING tech, who understood EXACTLY what I needed and was so accommodating.  When he was 20, he had some brain cancer that could be treated by surgery.  After multiple surgeries, he was cured, but he never forgets what it's like.  He heard me and called someone to access my port.  He was patient and gave me water to swish and asked his assistant to get me something for my dry lips from the gift shop.  There could not have been a more perfect person to help me today, and I know that was an answer to prayers.  

The test was done fairly quickly, and I got a tall glass of ice water.  

Then, it was time to head home!

Here Comes the Sun + Enhertu#24 + Finally Home!!

Directly after the bell-ringing, we were taken to a waiting room to see Dr. Sun.

It was a bit awkward, as I had not spoken with him since the debacle that was my trip to Lubbock and having all the things be canceled.  The communication was obviously WAY off, and I tried to be a little bit kind, but also tough to let him know how frustrating and wrong all of that was.  

He was apologetic, but still didn't have answers.  

We discussed many things.  

I was scheduled for chemo infusion that day, and he was being quite weird about that.  I was ready to go.  He left the room for awhile. 

There's just not a lot of information on if it's a good idea or would cause me more problems.  

I wanted to get that done before our trip because I did not want to push it back again.  Again, he left the room.  I'm sure he was calling fellows and researching.  

He returned. 

There were a few negative reports on people not exactly like me, whether a slightly different diagnosis or different chemo.  

I finally convinced him to just let this happen, and he reluctantly did.  

Finally, it was time to go home and rest!  Had to surprise all the boys at home, though!!!

 

1: LAST ONE!!!!!

 

Finally!  After so much push back and waiting and canceling and fatigue and all the things, we have done it!!!  I had a power boost today and put on a happy face and got the last brain radiation done!!!!

Many of my peeps were there to help celebrate as I rang the bell!

And, then I had to throw in some of my humor with Eedolem.

I'm so glad to have made it to and through this checkpoint!!

2: Very Little Energy, but Almost There!

I bottomed out today.  

My fatigue was the worst that it has been in this whole process. 

 

I did not want to get out of bed, but knew I needed to.  I tried to eat a little something in order to be able to take my meds.  Then, filled up a bath.  However, I fell back to sleep in there, only to wake up to Dana texting to say she was on her way.  That gave me only about 10 minutes to be ready.  I had to text right back and inform.  

Then, came the hard part.  I COULD NOT get myself out of the tub.  My arms were trembling, and my whole body was shaking.  I finally rolled out onto my towel and robe and somehow made it to my bed.  This called for another text.  Thankfully, Dana was able to come inside to help me dress and get going.  

This was all the effort I could muster up, and thankfully, Dana called to explain my lateness and to call in a wheelchair to meet me.  

Soon, Brandon and Jeff were there to retrieve

me and help in all the ways to just get this over with, so I could get back home to gain some energy for the very last treatment!!! 

 

3: The Last Week of Brain Radiation!

Today was much different than Friday.  

With very little wait time,  Jeff called me back to get started on another radiation.  

Just like that, another one was done.  I asked today if it was normal to want to sleep 12 hours a day.  "YES!" Both Jeff and Brandon echoed their answers. "It's like you have a really bad flu, and your body just needs to rest and have time to renew itself.  Fatigue is the number one side effect of brain radiation."  Now I know that I am not a total wash out loser for feeling that way all weekend.  

AND, I only have TWO more to go!

Let's get out of here and make this happen!

 

Cancelectomy in Lubbock

 

My aunt picked me up last night to make the trip to Lubbock.  Friends were nice enough to save food and spend some time catching up.  Other friends allowed us to spend the night, avoiding a hotel fee.  

We got up and left in plenty of time to be to the hospital early.  We expected there to be more traffic, but we arrived even earlier than planned.  As we checked in for the first appointment, we were asked to wait in the outside waiting area. "Someone will come get you soon."

We waited and waited and waited.  

All the patients who had arrived after us were getting called in before us.  Just as I was thinking up getting up to ask what was the major problem, a nurse came out to inform us that the major problem involved insurance.  "They were working on approval last night, but still need the final word.  They don't arrive until 7:30." that was still a minute or two away.  After more waiting, we finally heard that the insurance was no longer an issue, and we were led into the inside waiting room.  

I was delivered to my pre-surgical waiting room and instructed to strip down and put on the robe, with the opening to the back.  I freaked out a bit while explaining how much my veins despise needles.  "No matter how good they look, they ALWAYS roll or blow, even before cancer was a thing in my life," which is the same language I use for every nurse who tries to access me without my port.  He actually did an amazing job!  One of the few times in my life that someone actually listened to me and took my advice to heart!

Having all the vitals and blood for the lab and all the questions about drugs and pain and prior surgeries, and all the things I thought were already in my virtual chart, I was given the remote to watch tv, or not, and shown the nurse call button.  We waited and waited, again, for 45 minutes!  Finally, my aunt stepped outside the curtain to ask about when we might hear something more.  All we got was more and more waiting. 

Finally, my nurse returned, but with bad news.  "Someone should have told you to get off of your blood thinner at least for 5 days before today."  Well, no one did.  I was given no instructions other than I had to arrive with nothing to eat or drink, only a sip of water with my medications. (That would have been a PERFECT time for someone to have looked up in my chart to view the drugs that I take and make the assessment in plenty of time to give me the proper instructions.). That elusive 'Someone' could have ordered scans to ensure that it would be safe for me to make those changes and not suffer a possibly life-ending blood clot.  The only pre-procedural call with a possible someone was the night before, so it wouldn't have made a differrence because that was only one night, not 5 days ahead.  I asked about the other procedures for later in the day and was told that they, too, were canceled, as they were dependent on what was discovered in this one.  So, I got dressed again, and got some food and water, STAT!

We did a bit of shopping and then headed home.  It felt like a time-wasted type of day, and I was a bit annoyed that they would waste my time.  Then, about halfway to our destination, a nurse from the radiology department called to ask where I was,  They had been looking for me.  I explained what we had been told about the afternoon being dependent on the morning.  And much was apparent about the lack of communication, all-around.  

It's not like my aunt had to take time off work to drive me, or anything. Or, perhaps I wasn't thinking at all about staying home and checking off another radiation.  What a total waste of time.  Dr. Sun better be ready to hear what I think about all of this.  

Time to just keep on moving and staying alive.  

If only cancer could share all the things I've been through the past decade.  Maybe then someone would understand about communicating all the things and remembering that each patient is unique and needs to be treated as such.  

4: Abdominal Ultrasound + Brain Radiation

 

When I found out about the emergency abdominal ultrasound added to today's radiation appointment, I was tempted to cancel that mess.  I really didn't want to get up an hour earlier or ask Dana to do the same to drive me to it.  I had already canceled once before, and I knew they'd keep calling me.....they'd keep calling me.....,so I agreed to confirm. 

I was a few minutes late because I forgot that the scan was in another part of the hospital, but it was fine.  However, the scan itself took a lot out of me.  First, I was NPO, which means I couldn't eat or drink or take my meds.  (Those instructions brought me down and out of my normal routine). Next, stripping down to the nude, with only a robe on top was not my cup of tea, especially in a freezing cold exam room.  I had to beg for a warm blanket for my bare legs and feet, as I was turned down on the first inquiry because she "couldn't put a blanket on you because I'm going to be scanning your whole abdomen."  Let's just say, that tech was not the most friendly.  Maybe it was just that she hadn't had her morning coffee?

The scan was LONG.  About 2/3 of the way through the tech says, "that's weird!."  Thinking she was commenting about something in my abdomen, I asked, "what?'.  Her machine froze and she had to restart the thing, hoping that it wouldn't erase everything she had already scanned. Thankfully, a little refresh, and we were good to go.  She warmed up toward the end of the appointment, but the room did not, and the scan took a lot out of me.  

I still had the radiation to go.  

I was 30 minutes late from that and quite drained, but got a snack, some water, and my meds, and things were starting to look up.  Thankfully, I have some wonderful, caring techs for that.  They let me take my time to eat, drink,  and be medicated.  

Soon after it started, another day was over.  

Baby steps to another hectic day of scans in Lubbock tomorrow and then finishing up the radiation days next week.  

One step at a time..

5: Livin' On a Prayer!

 

This morning was quite difficult.  I probably slept too much yesterday, and felt some effects of that choice this morning.  My body felt like it was working against me and had zero get-up-and go.  I was waiting a bit for Dana, and I had a thought about trees and yard work that put me back in a better perspective.

The rental house we are currently in needs some work in the yard. There is a dead tree that seems to be at its end, which will likely fall onto the roof quite soon.  The grass around the huge tree that still lives is mostly dead, and this tree needs trimming.  The rest of the yard just needs a bit of sprucing up.  It was the living tree which took over my thoughts this morning.  

Perhaps a little pruning is needed for the tree.  

That pruning would also help the grass. 

True, the pain of pruning and loosing some branches could hurt for a bit.

But overall, the tree would be more able to grow more fully and hold on to all it needs to do. 

There are squirrels and birds that live there and count on safety from and health of the branches.

There are people who enjoy the shade.

The grass just can't grow because the tree is taking all of the light from the sun.

If the tree could go through a bit of grooming and changing, it could be better for all. 

.There would still be some shade under the remaining branches.

Creatures living on, within, and around would still thrive. 

The grass would receive more light, and be more likely to grow.

And, the tree...the one to have to endure the pain?

It will heal from the lost branches and benefit in new growth.

The tree will continue on. The pruning would come as a surprise, one that it never expected, but it would start to understand as it continued to grow and provide life to other creatures and light to the plants below.  

Perhaps there is a lesson for us all.  

As we all have weakness, we need a little testing.  

Those tests help us grow.

As we grow, we can help others in ways we never could have known before all the change.

We don't always know, but the Pruner sees it all.

**************

Beyond radiation, today I also had a doctor visit.  I asked a few questions, but they mostly revolved around drugs--those for pain and for constipation relief.  Unfortunately, those two seem to work against me.  One taken to alleviate pain, but also causing another type in the process.  There was much humor around asking about those.  

And, that's all I have to say about that. (for now.).

**************

If you're interested in how it looks and works for my brain radiation, here's a peek.

I forgot to take a shoe pic, but I have a pretty good quote to end today's post.

"Pain has nothing on humor."  

Ya'll might not have noticed it, but I've been counting the days incessantly.

We're halfway there.......

6: A New Week---Let's Go!

 

I think the Labor Day Weekend was both good and bad for me.  

True, great to rest.  

Not-so-great to expect that much rest between doses of radiation.  

Either way, it's a new week of this: 

I'm feeling ready to get it done, one day at a time.  

7: Another Day, Another Three-Day Break!

 

I've been a cancer patient now in 4 cities and 2 states.  

How blessed I have been to have such amazing friends, neighbors, and church families in each of those places.  All those humans have been willing to give their time and knowledge and driving capabilities to help me in my never-ending journey. It's even more special when you find a match with someone who has prayed me into their life.  That's when you know a friendship is real.  It's a God thing for both humans involved.  

This is that person in Hobbs.  The Support Squad to my Warrior Princess.  The shoe and sparkle and spiritually similar person, who matches my love for glitter and accessories and design and gratitude to God for all that is good (and challenging) in this world. 

I had a sweet moment today, during the time I was locked to the radiation table and told to hold still.  I had so many thoughts on my mind, but wanted to silence the all-consuming ones.  I choose a few of my favorite songs/hymns to replace and calm all the extra inside my inner voice.  

I also thought of the name of the new mask (Eedolem).  It my name said backwards, for any readers who might have been confused, and it was my Gramps who would often call be by that nickname.  He passed when I was not yet twelve years old, but made a great impact in my life. Then, a mountain of sweet memories and tender thoughts rushed in.  My soul was fed, and tears ran down my cheeks.  (Not so much in the normal way, but into my ears, while I was in lockdown.  

The time that first seemed to drag on became one of heavenly strength today and was over too soon.  How thankful I am for those moments when I know that it is good to not give up.  

After a rough morning of my body not getting in line with the time schedule, sweet family and friends pulled me out of any negative feelings and make the hard time easier to handle. We are all a little underwater that already seems to be over our heads with all the things, right? Having a helping hand to help pull you out is how we get through one more day.  

When you have faith in above,  and people who love, that truly is all you need!

Now, for a Labor Day break, and then baby steps to week two!

8: Another Appointment in the Books

 

Here again.  

Only radiation.

No doctor, no simulation. 

Just the real thing that is supposed to fight my cerebral demons.

And, I get to spend another day, laughing with this wonderful friend.  

Wearing the shoes my youngest informed me that I need to wear more often reminds me that each day is all about get things done with the speed of one step at a time.