I started out my day today by meeting with Dr. Fleener. She seemed happy that my PET was "looking great" and that I'm still in remission! My echo also was also in normal range. We still can't figure out how to stop the rash/psuedo-acne reaction to chemo, but I found out it's not just me; there's another patient that is also dealing with this, so we are guinea pigs of how to fix it. It's *so fun* being a subject of a scientific experiment.
I expressed some concern over weight gain.
What can I do?
What could be causing this?
Is this a side-effect of all the drugs I'm on?
Dr. Fleener, bless her, hadn't noticed my weight gain, but when she looked back in my records, she was like, "Whoa! You've gained 30 lbs. in a year!!!" Well, *fun for me,* my body's hormones are all out of whack (see below), and that could be contributing to it. Another possibility, after chemo, my metabolism has probably gone WAY DOWN, like almost non-existent, so just changing my diet won't be enough. I have to really start exercising in a way that will get my heart rate up enough to help jumpstart my metabolism. In addition, I still can only eat about 1200 calories a day. I'm also having my thyroid tested, just in case, as I'm "getting to the age" where that could become a problem. Dr. Fleener said that she's not going to push me or worry too much about my weight, but "to have the best effect on my body for the future," it's a good idea for me to try to lose as much as possible. I love her!
(I went to the OB/GYN yesterday to try to see what's going on with my body. My cycle is completely out of whack, as in I bleed fairly heavily ALL.THE.TIME. Dr. J guessed that this is happening because I'm still ovulating, but have gone through chemo and took Tamoxifen, which started to put me into early menopause, but now my body is trying to swing back but can't because my hormones are not balanced. She said that they usually don't have to worry about this because women who have stage 4 cancer are usually old enough to be done with menopause. Again, *fun for me! She did an exam, then sent me for a vaginal ultrasound, to make sure there are no polyps or other problems that could be causing this problem. Then, she took a sample---OUCH! It felt like she was swabbing out my entire uterine lining BEFORE she got the sample! In fact, I sat up afterwards and was immediately light-headed and had to lie back down. Now, we wait for results. If they are all negative, we will talk about doing an IUD to try to regulate me. Let's hope because the cycle is supposed to be about 28 days, not bleeding for 28 days out of every month!)
Then, when I walked back to sign in for treatment, I heard, "Melodee!" and turned around to a huge surprise! Some of my fellow Boobers! came to surprise me and hang out while I had treatment!!! How sweet!!! They also brought muffins and berries and several other snacks! I have missed the last few meetings, so it was nice to get to catch up!!! (Grace, Chris, & Me.....Christy showed up later, and I forgot to take another picture!!!)
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With the recent commemoration of the 15th anniversary of 9/11, I have seen many inspiring and uplifting quotes. One that stuck with me was about humankind being above all other creatures for our ability to have compassion and caring for other people, even those we do not know. We have the natural desire to help others and make a difference, to relate to others, even though our own experiences may vary.
How true this is with trials. We all experience different struggles. Even those who have similar experiences (breast cancer for one) will go through them differently. Although our individual hardships vary, we all learn universal values, such as faith, patience, compassion, strength, etc., through trials. In recognizing these values that are strengthened by different tests of life, we begin to feel closer and more unified with each other. We can relate to our fellow man, but no one can know EXACTLY what hard times were like FOR YOU, as they can only feel how they've felt. However, learning to have compassion and to mourn with those who mourn makes us better people.
I'm so grateful that these ladies came by to buoy me up and share and commiserate with me today. It's so comforting knowing that people understand the ups and downs of this experience and that they are always there to support me in the journey. The strength from friendships as well as the prayers from loved ones both near and far goes so far in helping me keep on keepin' on.
Cancer sucks, no matter how you look at it. But, I consider myself lucky to have been given an opportunity to share the journey, to be an example of faith and perseverance, and to hopefully help others in overcoming and thriving during their own storms! I have also been given a reason to not take any day or any moment for granted, to recognize the miracles in every day, and to live life to the fullest.
Kicking cancer, one treatment at a time!
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