H&P #36

It's the first day of spring.  Here in Texas, the bluebonnets and other wildflowers are coming out!  It's one of my favorite times of year.  As I was driving in to treatment, I gave thanks for the opportunity to see these beauties for another year, for many are not so lucky.  How my heart aches for those who are fighting and still seeking for miracles in their fights, or for their families when it becomes time that the fight be over.

I often forget that beneath the beauty of these flowers, randomly sprouting up in fields and on roadsides, as well as in well kept and cultivated gardens did not begin with the colorful petals that brighten my day.  The seed and the miracle of life came first, but so did the  difficulties in reaching for the light of the sun.



Soil, freezing temperatures, strong winds and storms, pests....these are just some obstacles each flower pushes through to bring its own beauty to the world.  And, I'll keep pushing through, too.


Had another little "episode" yesterday when the words on my mind weren't the words being spoken.  Not like the times that happen often, like calling one child the wrong name or not being able to reach for a actor's name, the one on the tip of my tongue.  This was more like not having the ability to make my mouth say what was in my brain, being able to realize it was happening, not being able to fix it, and then feeling uncertainty and concern about what it all meant.  This obstacle of cancer keeps trying to stop me from reaching for and being able to remain in the sun.

Luckily for me, I have nurses who know before I mention it that somethings not right.  I have an amazing oncologist who has the ability to bring peace to my scrambled mind, reassuring me that she is not worried, while also taking my case seriously enough to push up my scans.  In addition, she never fails me in seeking out any extras that could add more to my treatment.  This time was to think about having my IUD removed, as the small traces of Estrogen probably won't make a big deal in my case, but why risk "probably?" Luckily for me, she believes in miracles and knows that God can do things that even she can't.

In addition to my angels in scrubs and white coats, I'm even more blessed.  God is there with me, as I struggle and reach and grow through the dirt and discomfort.  Luckily for all of us, the Son we reach for is even brighter than the sun.