Monday was unexpectedly amazing, as the maids from "Cleaning for a Reason" came by for my 2nd session. That left me free for more than I thought I would be able to accomplish prior. After my productive meeting with Dr. Coolio, I had the rest of the week to clean, plan dinner meals, get caught up on laundry, and get the house all designed for CHRISTMAS!!! My burdens had been made light!
A friend came over to help set up the trees and set the groundwork for our special ornaments. (We give each boy an ornament every year, which matches each kids' theme AND is meaningful to an activity or trip we experienced as a family that year. It's fun, but Kyle has enough-already-to have a tree of his own soon. (My mom AND Grama still continue this tradition for the boys and me, as well.) The major rays of light from these beautiful trees, brightened my outlook (and allowed me to cross something BIG off the to-do list!)
After that, I had a few days with no extra appointments, just the regularly-scheduled programs, EXCEPT, Stephen's work schedule was CRAZY!!!!!!!! He worked on call Sunday. Then, M-F all day/everyday until dark or later! THEN, he had a colonoscopy on Saturday!!!!!We saw each other for 8 hours or so ALL WEEK. It was insane, and he was struggling. I was able to reach out to his brothers for advice, and they ran with a plan. Since Stephen had been disappointed that he wasn't able to get the Christmas lights out ALL WEEK, as previously planned, it only added to the misery of the job situation. I phoned a friend ,and another community miracle occurred: The lights were hung from a community of friends and God's servants, who pulled together for pure love. More light came to our lives!
That week, I also had some time to ponder and pray and to try to discover what my prayers should be. Another miracle, of course, was my first choice for which to ask. However, have the days of miracles passed for me? is my candle too short for more? Would it be selfish to keep being brought back from near-death disease? My focus was on my family. I did not want to leave Stephen without his partner and love of almost 20 years. Would each of my boys suffer and be able to overcome, or would they begin to drown and fall into despair and away from the good. I asked and plead for how to pray this time.
Then, I was reminded by my Dad of some verses he read to me when he was here:
A group of verses from John
John 14: 13-14
And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it.
John 15: 7
If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.
Those two helped me understand that when I ask in pure faith for something that is an unselfish and righteous desire, GOD WILL DO IT. Maybe, it's not always EXACTLY the outcome we looked for at the exact moment, but we will not be forsaken, those who abide in the Lord.
God truly answers the prayers of those trying to believe in Him and follow him. To put a cherry on top:
Matthew 6:8
...for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.
Our Father in Heaven wants to bless us with all He has. He wants us to have hope and joy and peace. He wants us to escape heartache and pain with as few scars as possible. However, he knows we must experience and endure some of those heartbreaking and painful experiences in order to understand how to help others, how we can become stronger, and to humble ourselves to realize that no man is an overcomer on his own.
(A woman could come really close, though, right????)
I was reminded that having that light surrounding you and in you---all these sources of light brought to us by the service of others, led me to remember the shining light of Christ, his peace and love and mercy and goodness and hope and faith.
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