Tuesdays With Naqvi--Herceptin #39,40

It's World Cancer Day, and I'm in the chemo chair. For all those who have felt the effects of cancer, whether through a personal battle or a fight of a loved one, there's some comfort in knowing that we are not alone. If fighting this fight has taught me anything, it is that I am strong enough to beat cancer, but so much stronger with the support of family and friends.

I never expected cancer to hit me when it did.  I wasn't prepared in many ways.  But, my life has been full of many unexpected twists and turns, so I've come to expect the unexpected in general. Whenever I feel like I'm finally in a good place and finally figuring things out, something in the plan changes. 

I came across this image not long ago and couldn't have described my life much better. I would've possibly added sharks, a broken bridge, a glass wall, a few detours and construction zones, and some flats tires/busted chains, but this is really close to my truth.

If you asked me 2 years ago, we were finally on a pretty smooth path.  Stephen was finally done with school, and loved his job.  We made it past the stumbling blocks of an unexpected pregnancy and fighting the IRS, saved enough money to buy our first home, and had 3 healthy boys.  After ups and downs and twists and turns, we were going to enjoy a little time of rest to catch up and get ahead. We'd joked many times before about how we had gone WAY past "plan B," and were actually closer to "plan FF," having used the entire alphabet of life plans and still going. It seemed, however, that finally one of our plans actually came to pass as expected! 

We'd simply reached a false summit.

There's something rather defeating about making plans and progressing toward dreams, but never quite reaching them. To have a goal-oriented mindset, to be moving forward, only to stumble and have those goals always lie just out of reach can be discouraging. 

Perhaps our goals and our plans had always been just that--OUR goals and OUR plans. Maybe they didn't always match up perfectly with GOD'S plans FOR us, so He had to keep recalculating and redirecting until we finally caught on.  Sometimes being forced to stop and reevaluate is just what you need to keep going.   Cancer definitely did that for us and forced us to see the world differently.

So, here we are: Deeper in debt, yet stronger in faith; Further from goals of paying off student loans, but closer to each other; Frustrated about the time wasted, but grateful for every minute of life we are still blessed to enjoy; Broken down to be built back up. 

We can plan and plan, but reality can take us somewhere completely different. What matters is that we keep moving forward. Even if we lose balance and fall, we are never truly down as long as we get back up and get going. 

Speaking of getting going and keeping moving forward, a friend of mine is participating in the Susan G. Komen 3-day walk for breast cancer.  She's walking in my name, and I am honored.  There is so much love and support to be found in such an awful journey.  If you feel so inclined, please visit her website and learn more!