"Sister Cooper, may I tell you something without it embarrassing you?" he asked, cautiously. "I just want you to know what an inspiration you are to me. I see all that you've been through and all you do and am so impressed with your positive attitude." It was his tear-filled eyes that touched me so.
What have I really done to be an inspiration? We all have adversity, tragedies, hardships, times of trial, loss, sadness, grief, pain, and challenges. Mine is no different from yours, on a grand scheme; only the specific details vary. Perhaps I have come to see opposition in all things for what it is--learning opportunities and growth-- and to seek the joy. Joy truly can exist with the sorrow. I have been strengthened and uplifted and blessed, even if just blessed to recognize the small miracles and tender mercies for what they are---ever present. I have a better understanding of pain and loss, but also humility and gratitude. I see the miracles in the little things.
The little things can be great blessings. Things I took for granted, or even cursed before, have new light. I can wear a real bra again, and a bigger one than before! I have enough hair to pull back in a tiny bunch, secured with bobby pins!
I have the strength and stomach to clean my own toilets, to change the sheets on the bunk bed, and to---gasp---actually find the joy in doing my own dishes! Lest you think I'm a saint, moments from transfiguration, I have yet to rejoice in meal planning and grocery shopping, and I still get so frustrated at those mommy moments of finding an entire dresser and closet of clothes emptied all over a bedroom on the morning we most need to leave the house on time, or juice spilled for the 17th time on the freshly mopped floors, and all the other, lovely, "deep breath" moments that accompany parenting young children. However, I have learned a little more how to cherish all the moments I'm given. I am even more grateful for the ways in which my experiences with the adversity of cancer have blessed my young sons. They are quick to forgive, more cognizant of mommy's "boo-boos," freely giving of those cherished, "I love you's," and even offer to kiss ME better when they know I'm not feeling well. There are truly miracles in the little things.
In our adversity, some of the biggest challenges lie in the often unanswered "whys?" Grief and pain can be compounded in the times when we wonder if there was anything we could've done to avoid our trials, anything that would've prevented tradegy from befalling us. Through this experience, I've learned that sometimes terrible things just happen. But, they teach us to cling to our blessings, to seek out ways to comfort others in their grief, to realize that God's blessing of easing burdens and lightening yokes most often doesn't mean simply taking them away and keeping us from adversity, but that He will strengthen us and provide ways for us to bear the burdens placed on our shoulders.
If I have been an inspiration to anyone because of how I've faced this journey, it is only because I have been blessed to pass through this challenge with faith that The Lord is on my side. All of those little blessings, day by day, add up to so much greatness, and none of it is done alone.
Beautifully written, my dear daughter! You ARE a great inspiration-thank you!
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