A Week Without Hair

I've been through various emotional stages in the short time since being diagnosed with cancer.  2 months ago, this wasn't even in my radar.  Now I'm halfway through the first half of chemo.  I've been through shock, sadness, fear, self-pity, comfort, frustration, sickness, aches, fatigue, hope that I'd keep my hair for a bit, anger in having to lose it, gratitude that I kept it long enough for family portraits, impatience in cleaning up the mess as it "thinned," strength in having an army of supporters to help me say goodbye to what was left of it, gratitude that I have a good head for baldness, and excitement about having a new way to accessorize and an incredibly shorter amount of time to get ready for the day.
   

A few things I've learned this week:
You can get rid of the hair, but old habits remain.  I still catch myself wanting to run my hands through my hair, brush it off my shoulders, or tuck it behind my ears, almost like I have phantom limb or something.  {Stephen said the same thing--he keeps reaching up to brush his hair back, but there's none to brush back!}
My scalp is quite sensitive.  I can rub my hands from front to back, but it's painful from back to front.  If I turn the wrong way in my sleep, or if a hat/scarf gets caught up in the wrong direction, it's quite uncomfortable.
I really have A LOT of gray hair.  When the tiniest bit of roots are all that remain, there's no where to hide it.   Except under a scarf.
My skin is starting to get more sensitive.  Shoes that have never bothered me before rubbed off the skin at my ankles.  My lips are extremely dry, and the skin around my eyes is especially bothered.  
The boys don't really seem to be bothered at all.  I'm so grateful that I have kept them in the loop with this and have been very open about what's going on.  Kyle, obviously, understands the most.  He just thinks it's something cool to tell his friends.  We were out to lunch the other day with some other boys, and he says, "Mom, will you take off your hat and show my friends your crazy hair?"
The hair is still coming out--quite easily.  But, it's a WHOLE lot easier to deal with tiny "eyelashes" of hair than the clumps that were all around before.
I'm debating on the wig situation.  After going shopping and getting sticker shock at the prices--$450 for the one I REALLY wanted--I think I'd rather get a few cheaper ones and try out a few different styles and colors.  Why put all my eggs in one basket?  I'm not trying to fool anyone into thinking that it's my real hair or anything, so why not have a little fun?  Plus, my real hair will come back, and I'll have a great collection of wigs for future Halloween costumes.
It's only March, and there was one evening I was SO hot from wearing a scarf/hat on my head.  So many people told me they got cold and to keep it covered.  Those people, obviously, were not giving children baths, climbing up and down stairs to get PJs, and chasing 3 boys to wrangle them into their beds.  I can't imagine how hots it's going to get in the coming months!

Of all the emotions I've felt lately, I'm so glad the sad ones have come and gone quickly.  Looking for the positive and the gratitude is what has helped me stay the strongest.