It would've been quite helpful for someone like me if there was some massive spreadsheet or roadmap, listing out all the appointments, procedures, tests, shots, different doctors, and how everything overlapped and came together ahead of time. I don't like being surprised with, "Oh, by the way, you need to have this lab work done TODAY," or "you were supposed to have another echo before this next appointment," or "you haven't seen the doctor for your post op yet?" Um, hello!? If no one tells me I need to do these things, I'm not just going to volunteer to set up child care and head on down, begging doctors to do more tests and pricks and pokes on me. And, speaking of child care, I don't have the luxury of just "heading on over to St. Catherine's" at the drop of a hat. These tests aren't like running to pick up a gallon of milk. I feel like responding these demands with something along the line of, "that information really would've been more useful to me YESTERDAY"....or at least a week or so in advance. I've discovered along the way that what I thought I knew, and what everyone I've known who's had a "normal" breast augmentation knows doesn't always apply to my reconstruction. I also thought after half my body was cut into pieces and much of that tissue discarded, it would show up in the form of weight loss. Well, it's true what they say about fat {and skin, apparently} not weighing much. All my old breast tissue was removed along with a bunch of excess abdominal skin, and the scale is only down a few pounds. I also didn't believe how exhausting it would be to go up and down stairs and try to get back to "normal" 3 weeks after surgery. They WERE NOT kidding about this being a 6-8 week recovery, and I overdid it too soon. Those are a few trivial things, but it just goes to show that sometimes It's not until the last minute that I realize how much I don't know about everything that goes into surviving and how that knowledge can affect me. Not knowing stresses me out.
But, then I'm quickly reminded about faith and enduring to the end. In life there is no completed road map, no fully-compiled textbook, no spreadsheet that lists all our required accomplishments and the due dates by which they must be accomplished. There is no crystal ball that lays out our future paths and instructs us at every turn, so that we already know what our choices should be before we have to make them. Knowledge is not obtained all at once. Unfortunately, we cannot plug in and download all we need to know about life, our only restraint being the speed of our network connection. Isaiah tells us that knowledge comes in small steps, "For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little..."{28:10} So it is with each new trial or goal in life. Some of the instructions and plans can be mapped out and taken into consideration before moving forward. We can pray for guidance, ask trusted loved ones and experts to help us guide our choices. However, along the way, there will be changes, obstacles, more knowledge given, and more choices to be made. There will be unforeseen information or unusual responses that could completely take us off our planned course. And that's okay. Line upon line, here a little, there a little, and whatever it is that we are trying learn or overcome will be completed before we know it.
Another great perspective on an otherwise very frustrating situation. That sucks though that there isn't better communication to you about what is needed, and in a more workable time frame for you. It's like doctors forget that we don't know all that they know, and what they need to tell us. Been there, although certainly not to the extent you're experiencing.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, love your maroon hair! Looks so cute with your complexion. It amazes me that you are going through all this and still look so gorgeous. When ya got it, ya got it!