Tuesdays with Naqvi--Herceptin #21

After grabbing a quick lunch yesterday, I passed a woman who was waiting to pick up her own food.  I smiled, and she smiled back.  Immediately, she complimented me: "I LOVE your haircut.  Great style!"  {The fact that I have enough hair to actually label it a "style" is worth a mention on its own, but our conversation continued.}  "Thanks," I said.  "I'm being treated for breast cancer, and it's just starting to grow back from chemo."  She replied, "Well, you should keep it that way!  It suits you.  You look great like that!"  I left with a smile and also shaking my head.  Just a few days before, I had been sadly reminded that, no, I didn't need to PIN a how-to for a quick and easy long-hair up-do because I no longer had that hair, and by the time it grew back, I'd probably have long forgotten about that how-to, anyway.  This woman who didn't know me and knew nothing of my story had an unbiased opinion on me looking great with my short hair style, thinking I'd chosen it.  She could see the beauty in something I was wishing could change and looking with eagerness to have the chance to make it "better."  What a difference a little perspective can make! 

I thank that woman for her perspective.  She gave me yet another reason to be grateful and to look at this process with positivity.  What I might have been sad or down about, I can be glad for instead.  I have a good head for the short, punky, spiky hair I'm now growing out.  And, really, my perspective should be on gratitude that I'm healing well and gaining strength.  My thoughts should focus on the positive and on what I've gained during this process, rather on what could be viewed as loss.  

In life, we have frequent trials.  From cancer to cankers and everything in between, a little shift in perspective might take us from feeling down and discouraged to noticing some small--or large--reason to be grateful.   One of my very favorite quotes of all time was referenced by Gordon B. Hinckley, as he quoted a local journalist, Jenkins Lloyd Jones:  

"Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he's been robbed.  Most putts don't drop.  Most beef is tough.  Most children grow up to be just people.  Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration.  Most jobs are often more dull than otherwise.  Life is like an old-time rail journey--delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed.  The trick is the thank The Lord for letting you have the ride."  {Deseret News, June 1973.}

If we, on this train ride of life, only pay attention to the smoke and the jolts, there will be a lot of sadness, complaining, and even whining.  We could convince ourselves that things would be SO much better if we had just taken a different train, that this current train is the only one with so many delays.  Perhaps a plane ride or even a bike would've solved our difficulties.  And, in all that complaining, we probably would've missed the beautiful vistas and thrills the Lord was putting in our path, the new friends we could've met on that train, the time to rest while we waited in a delay, or a number of blessings that can be gained, even in times of trial.  Thomas S. Monson calls this type of perspective, finding "joy in the journey."  

The best perspective is an eternal perspective, one that attempts to look beyond the day-to-day jolts and delays to see that there is purpose in difficult times, a need for opposition, and that we are more than just our mortal lives, and can be living for eternal goals.  When we look past the here-and-now of trials and shift to a more positive and eternal perspective, it becomes easier to see some of our trials for what they are--learning experiences.  Boyd K. Packer said, "It was meant to be that life would be a challenge.  To suffer some anxiety, some depression, some disappointment, even some failure is normal...If [you] have a good, miserable day once in a whille, or several days in a row, stand steady and face them.  Things will straighten out.  There is great purpose in our struggle in life." {"That All May Be Edified," 1982}  Why should we struggle in life?  Why can't everything just be easy?  Why do we feel sad and fail?  Why should it seem that some have very few difficulties while others suffer in more ways than one?  Many of the "whys" of trials are difficult, if not impossible, to answer.  So, we have to have faith that everything truly does straighten itself out in the end.  And in the meantime,  we can keep our perspective shifted away from the smoke and dust and onto the beautiful vistas all around us, accepting that the ups and downs are all part of the ride.  A small shift in perspective can even help me see that short, spiky hair can be just as beautiful as a long-hair up-do.