Pills are GOOOOOD!

I never experienced "natural" child birth.  To go without an epidural would kind of be like going against the family business.  Plus, my mother, who gave birth to SIX children--some with drugs and some without, gave me the advice, "Take the drugs!!!"  The birth plan for me definitely included drugs.  There are some women out there who almost put on a badge of honor and courage for their drug-free birthing process.  I never earned that award.

I do, however, feel I must have earned some kind of award in this chemo battle.  Remember how awful my nausea and vomiting was last time around?  Yeah, so do I.  I HATE throwing up.  And, I threw up a lot last time.  I couldn't keep down soup.  Or Gatorade.  Remember how terrible I felt and how I felt even worse, having the knowledge from the beginning that my doctor told me 90% of her patients are able to function and work without much trouble?  I thought I was part of the 10% who just totally wussed out and couldn't keep it together.  Imagine my shock and surprise when my nurse came over to my chair on Tuesday and asked why only one nausea medication showed up in my charts.  Um......EXCUSE ME?!?  Apparently, someone dropped the ball and let me endure this awful, more aggressive chemo with only the Zofran regimen that helped with the last round.  I was supposed to have a 3-pill drug that prevents and blocks chemo-induced nausea.  You start taking it the morning you start chemo.  So, not only did I not have this *power drug* for the entire first dose, I didn't have it the morning of the second dose, either!  I was also supposed to  have one other pill to help with nausea.  This information really would've been useful to me THREE WEEKS AGO!!!!!  My doctor even asked me, "why didn't you call when you were so sick before?!?"  Well, maybe because I WAS NEVER TOLD THAT THERE WAS MORE YOU COULD DO FOR ME!!!!!!  Really!?!  Every time I think I've got this patience and serenity thing under control, something like this happens.  I guess I can be glad that *hopefully* the worst I feel is what I endured with NO DRUGS AT ALL the first time around!

I did get some really good news on Tuesday, though.  The official report from my ultrasound shows that my tumor has shrunk from around 5cm to 2-2.5 cm.  Not bad!  My tissue still shows all the calcifications and "pre-cancerous" areas, but the main tumor has responded quite well to chemo.

I'll just remember that all this crap I'm enduring---even "naturally"--is worth it.  And, from now on, BRING ON THE DRUGS!!!!