Last week, I had a plethora of scans in order to catch up on the monitoring of my cancer.
My latest ECHO showed my ejection fraction down a bit, so much that Dr. Raza ordered a cardiac MRI, which I had never before experienced. I also had the regularly scheduled CTs and bone scan.
The cardiac MRI was difficult. I never realized how hard it can be to breathe and hold that breath for a determined amount of time, over and over and over again. To breathe on command and on cue when you may be out of breath, holding still for over an hour....my rib cage was sore when that was done.
Later that week, I went in for the CTs and bone scan. They wouldn't use my port, so I endured the whole IV mess. It boggles the mind how much of a physical reaction I get with IVs. I could squeegee off the sweat from my palms. I hate, hate, DOUBLE HATE....LOATHE ENTIRELY when the nurses don't listen to me. I tell them that my veins will feel good, but they roll or blow. They think they know more than I do. Luckily, this nurse took her time and took my experience into consideration. The process was a little more bearable this time.
Then, there was the "delicious" vanilla shake for breakfast. I had to drink more this time, and my body paid the price. Diarrhea and nausea hung around all week. And, I was pretty tired. (I also had dentist appointments for me and all the boys + Kyle's birthday and party. It was a FULL week!)
For all that effort, I did get good results:
Bone Scan: no significant interval changes compared with last bone scan
no new focus of abnormal increased radio tracer uptake to suggest development of new osseous metastasis. (no new bone mets!)
I do have degenerative joint disease on shoulders, sternoclavicular joints, bilateral knees--left worse, SI joints.
kidneys, bladder, and soft tissue has a normal appearance!
Pretty good news!
CT: trachea, lungs are clear
no evidence of developing metastases
bones have mottling and other spots correlating with previously performed scans
Good news again!
Basically, I'm old and my body is degenerating, but no new cancer. We'll take what we can get!!!!
I came across something which caused me to think a lot about the way I've coped with trials and used faith and hope to continue to work through challenges of life. When times are difficult, more than once I've been encouraged with something along the lines of "God doesn't give you more than what you can handle." On the surface, that word of comfort can give hope through storms. However, it's not true.
God DOES give us more than we can handle. He does this to help us remain humble and realize that we need His help. Line by line, precept by precept, we are all moving along. There is no way for us to grow and become stronger without stretching our muscles. If we always struggled with hardships that we could handle, we wouldn't gain knowledge and experience beyond our current abilities. We can overcome anything with His strength added to our own. I often get those feelings of feeling helpless and overwhelmed with all that life has for me these days. It's a challenge to not get discouraged, to keep fighting with insurance for drugs, to find care for my kids during all these scans and treatments, to sometimes just get out of bed, but I try. And, I've realized that it's not just me trying. It's God helping me always and me trying to allow Him in, to humble myself enough to receive that help. I know for sure that my human mind and body would not be able to handle this alone. I am sure I'm only able to handle this and have only made it to this point through the love, charity, blessings, and miracles that God has provided along the way.
