Monday and Tuesday of the week, I was basically useless. No energy, sore throat, fatigue, cough. I didn't want to admit that I might have the Wuhan as no one in our immediate family has had it yet [knock on wood], but it was time for a test.
Luckily, we have a stock of them at home.
Mine was negative.
I have no fever, still have my sense of taste and smell, no headaches, and fatigue didn't overly concern me, as it is not uncommon as I continue in this cancer journey.
Thankfully[?] I was able to make it to chemo and not have to postpone and disrupt the whole schedule for the month. I made very little effort to look well today. I wasn't up to it.
There was quite a bit of napping during treatment.
Napping and trying not to bring on too much pressure and anxiety for all the things on the calendar for the week ahead, which included all the regularly scheduled sport practices/school group projects just like every other week. This week added to that multiple extra wonderful things. Sunday, we'd already celebrated a son's birthday, which he kindly agree to delay a day because of me. Good Friday and Easter coming up meant a multitude of activities and schedules to plan for. In addition, I was hoping to be well enough for Stephen's bday celebrations the next day, which included his parents in town and going out. I was scheduled to teach the Easter lesson at church, which was still floating around my mind on a variety of thoughts and plans about how to bring all of my studying and pondering together to bring the true meaning of this purpose of Christ's life and let hope and faith touch the lives of my students. I wanted to do at least some of the traditional family things for the holiday: dyeing eggs, egg hunt, deviled eggs, Easter meal. We were scheduled to meet up with our home builders to pick out design elements for our new home after chemo. Stephen was off and wanted to meet up for lunch in between. Our children had practices which overlapped our design meeting, and I was still not feeling up for any of it.
If I could, I would've simply gone back to a nap.
It's hard to believe that God's miracles and this Easter season of life and love and faith and prayer and focus on Christ's Atonement for all have helped me to still be here through this storm. I know there continues to be light ahead. I also know there continues to be gray days ahead. However, I know that I can continue to hope that when I put in all I can do, He will pick up the rest.
Today was the 17th of my doses of this newest chemo, Enhertu, [plus who knows how many infusions of Zometa, the bone strengthener.].
For 17 appointments, scheduled 3 weeks apart, I've come to a cancer clinic, trusting that this new drug would continue to work. 17 times 3 is 51. 51 weeks of this pattern, mingled with other drugs and other scans and surgeries and dealing with insurance and new doctors and nurses across 2 state lines. 51 times 7 days in between the appointments is 357 days of feeling fine or not-so-fine, of making the way through seasons and moving and birthdays and holidays and other momentous days and not-so-amazing days.
17 doses of Enhertu and blessings from above have given me another year of life.
I've said for many years that I just needed to keep fighting and praying and doing the work until something new was invented, and year by year, I'd keep on living.
This drug has shown me that is true. With positive momentum and faith in God, I can keep fighting through the storms and celebrating the miracles that I expect will continue to come.
And, sometimes being able to let things go and focus on "NO" allows everything else to work out just fine. I did not go to church. I passed the lesson to someone else. We focused on a very simplified celebration of Easter, and gave thanks that Christ is risen at all times for each of us and not just on one very difficult week. An entire year of a new treatment and new miracles along the way have helped me see the miracle that His plan of happiness for all is not just to be found in this week, but in every moment we seek for it.
