H&P #26

Someone recently told me she loved my wigs.

"How many do you have?," she asked.   

"Several, in many colors."  

"You don't have a bright red one."  

"Oh, but I do!"

Ariel just spends a lot of time under the sea.  

(I realized there haven't been pictures of me in every wig, 

so treatment day was time to change that!) 

I heard a quote this week that has me thinking:

“There are only two ways to live your life.  One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is.” (It's attributed to Albert Einstein, but the interwebs aren't all in agreement on that fact.)

One thing cancer has taught me is to look for the good in everyday.  I am NOT a naturally-born optimist, so this was obviously a lesson I needed.  However, over the last four years on this journey, I have been transformed in more ways than one.   One of the biggest changes I've noticed is my every day outlook.  I try to see the blessings, the tender mercies, the many miracles that have added up to my ability to beat cancer and to dance IN the rain--not just when (or if) the rainbow appears.

And then I realized:

This quote isn't always about the moment.  There are plenty of moments when we don't like where we are or what's happening to us and the only focus that makes sense is to wish things would change---not the good things that are going on at the same time.  I don't like cancer, and I don't think it's a miracle, but miracles haven't ceased in my life.  There have been plenty of days that I am not happy to carry the cancer cloud, but the sky is not all dark.  I will not mislead and act as if my life is sunshine and chocolate all the time, or that I believe that EVERYTHING is a miracle.  The quote is to describe life over the long run.   Do I look for the blessings and the light?  Can I be grateful during difficulties and notice the thousands of tiny miracles that happen, even while life is at its worse?  Do I TRY to do so, even if I don't always succeed?  Then, I am (trying) to live my life "as though everything is [a miracle.]"

It's only through a chain of thousands of miracles that any of us are even here, born healthy.  Then, we leave the hospital, and the fun begins.  I think back to all the times when I actually witnessed that my life has been saved; I can only begin to imagine the total amount of blessings that have been poured out in order for me to have learned all I've learned and accomplished all I've done.  Miracles.

Every so often, huge arrows point out the exact moment something miraculous occurs.  Other than those specific moments of light, it's up to me to open my eyes and see.  It's crucial that I learn to place the spotlight on all that I have and to show my gratitude for blessings that pour out every single day.

Numerous studies have found that gratitude leads to a happier and healthier life, two things I need, especially now.  So, as I strive to live as though everything is a miracle, worthy of my gratitude, I can train my brain and body to feel even more happy through tough times and to be more healthy through them.  Win-Win.

It's not an easy task or something done once and never again.  It's a practice in humility and in training my eyes, mind, and heart to turn to God.  

  

 Continuing to kick cancer to the curb, one step at a time.

It's much easier with help! (Evan at church.)