This life is filled with a plethora of triumphs and trials, sunshine and storms, along with time for celebration, as well as for sorrows. The trick is to learn to survive as well as to thrive, no matter where this adventure leads and what lies along the tracks. To 'bear the journeying without murmuring' is not easy or natural to human nature, but the attempt at it is one way I continue to fight cancer and feel strength.
acceptance
sorrow
humility
faith
gratitude
hope
kindess
humor
communication
learning
sharing
grit
optimism
forgiveness
empathy + sympathy
charity
knowledge
understanding
prayer
work
family + friends
grace
love
These are only a few traits I have been working on cultivating in my mind and heart, my ammunition against sorrow in this lifelong battle against the curse of cancer........and any other challenge I meet. The objective is happiness, yet not JUST happiness. I aim to see the light amidst the darkness. My drive is for my family and to lift others. I strive to remain meek and loving and concerned for my fellow humans, while working to remain grateful for all that surrounds me. Being physically and spiritually healthy is a great blessing, but it is not just a gift, landing on those who simply stand in the right place on at a certain time. It takes a growth-mindset, work, and hopeful steadfastness. And, with all this action, there must be the understanding that the point might not be to overcome it all. In my case, I have learned to prepare and accept that there may come a day when the answer is "no." I have been healed so many times since 2013. I have to continue to have love and. understanding that there might be a time when I won't be.
I had scans today. Similar thoughts seem to accompany this procedure: Will cancer stay away? Will I have to battle again? Where will these cells attack my body, and how will I force them away? Do I have the energy and strength to fight again? How will another battle affect all the people in my life? Focusing on the negative has taken my mind down a wormhole to the dark side before. Today, I try to Baby Yoda my way out.
Then, the joy trickles in. Joy #1: My dear friend drives me, we catch up a bit because we can't be together as much as we would like in this doo-doo year, but we arrive early. Once there, I approach the front desk with a smile behind my mask. "Good morning! I'm here to order my delicious, vanilla + Barium shake!"
Joy #2: Due to the CORONAS, they are not doing that right now, Two big glasses of cold water would due. Hurray! (Yet, if water works now, why does it not work every time? And, what evidence of cancer could be missed with just icy agua? [Focus on the joy, Mel. Focus on the JOY!!!]
Joy#3: I don't feel a thing when my port is accessed.
Joy#4: Out comes my favorite scan tech, Lance, who remembers me, gets my jokes, is tall, dark, and handsome---for someone else, of course!, and likes me as a person (or at least pretends to,). This means that the scans will be a breeze!
Joy#5: I about die laughing when, after multiple reminders to return upstairs to have my port de-accessed, I pack up and start heading out the door! Only placing my bad down to search for sunglasses reminds me of my airhead action and triggers a chuckle-fest with myself on the way upstairs and with my nurse, who had been wondering what was taking me so long!
Joy#6: I felt zero pain when the needle was pulled out, which is a far cry from the grief many nurses gave me with my previous port.
Joy#7: We drive-thru to order a healthy lunch, which was much needed after my morning of fasting, except for pills and delicious H2O.
It's important to remember that this life is for joy. Sometimes circumstances leads to sorrow. It takes work, but we can choose to see the good within it all. That is how the battle with today's curse can lead to tomorrow's blessings.
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