I will try to explain. There is too much. I will try to sum up.
June 8th
Lab work. Actual face-to-face Dr. visit. Lab results are improving. still low, but improving. Herceptin #65. Was able to bring smiles to many faces with positivity pins
June 30th
Almost copy + paste, but lab results even higher. H#66.
And there you are up-to-date on my crazy summer weeks.
With Covid-19 seeming to ramp up, more and more of our summer normalcy is anything but. It was difficult to plan for everything on this last day of the 6th month, especially when my regular appointment timing was shifted and Stephen was working late. Thankfully, I was able to get my swimmer to and from practice before driving myself to chemo. I mentioned to all my assigned, oncology-related helpers for the day that I could a rush on my procedures in order to get home and take the gymnast to lessons. My high hopes weren't enough. I didn't quite make it in time for the gymnast. We were 30 minutes late. Out of a 30 minute practice, I figured that wasn't too bad.
{Sidenote: While I was in treatment, my golfer was scheduled for practice. My sweet gymnast drove his little brother, the golfer, down the golf cart path behind our house, on scooters, and picked him up an hour latert!***Also, I unquestionably learned why it's important to have drivers to take me to my appointments on days of infusions! My drive to the Cancer Clinic wasn't awful, but with drugs in the system, plus anxiety over the timing, the way home was more challenging.)
After that craziness, I was more than exhausted, but couldn't sleep during gymnastics practice, since the hubby wouldn't be off to pick him up 2 1/2 hours later. I remember nothing from that evening, as I crashed until late night. Then, woke up and just rolled over to sleep until the next morning.
That was a rough day.
Once I'd slept off the drug-induced brain fog, it was July. I pondered on the experiences from the day before, the entire month of June, and frankly most of this *grand* year of 2020, in which we have experienced muchness of doo-doo. There have been great opportunities for frustration, anxiety, disappointment, resentment, discomfort, and all of the other not-so-happy emotions. For our family at least, there is not much satisfaction and excitement about staying at home all day/everyday, since the day school transitioned to Zoom, and masks became a fashion must.
Then, I saw that it cannot get words a memory from that very day, 7/1/2012. (Thanks, FB!)
(Sidenote: In 2012, we had recently moved into our first home, I had three YOUNG children and a husband who worked long hours with his anesthesia work.)
This memory was a thought from a Sunday School participant:
"It's NEVER so bad that it cannot get worse."
That spoke then, AND NOW, to my realist sensibility, along the lines of preparing for the worst, yet hoping for the best, No matter what life is throwing at you, it could ALWAYS be worse. This odd quote (from someone who seems to be a glass-half-empty type, taught me that I should be grateful for my trials and to try to learn and grow from them, while being happy that they AREN'T worse!)
And, in this crazy 2020, I have to keep on fighting, AGAIN, remembering that thought. Fighting cancer is not my favorite, but it could be worse. (AND, I could have not been able to finish this post before the NEXT three weeks had come up. Close, but not close enough!!
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