For the past few weeks, my chemo pill dose has been cut down from 8 of one kind + 4 of the other, to 0 of one kind + 2 of the other. The side effect differences have been negligible. However, my labs showed vast improvement in my blood counts. In fact, every result was in the NORMAL RANGE!!!! That means that we should automatically throw more poison in, right?
I guess you can't truly have a powerful and successful battle if you don't have the ammo to back it all up. With that. in mind, I am restarting the full doses of the chemo pills TONIGHT and hoping that my body will be able to keep up.
My appointment today was so great. Of course, good lab results trump everything, but in addition to that unexpected news, I was able to slide through the whole schedule! I had prepared myself for a long, drawn out day, the waiting time being much longer than the actual treatment time. My last treatment day seemed to last all day, and today had that added possibility of extra delays with it being the day after the Labor Day holiday. A day off at the cancer clinic usually means squeezing more and more patients into the time slots of the next business day. However, there were no other patients in the waiting area. I barely sat down, only to be called for lab work. Then, I was immediately taken to the appointment side of the clinic. I was shocked with the great news about my labs, but was swept off to my infusion room soon after! Things were flowing so smoothly! It was as if they were all reading my mind about being in a bit of a hurry to get home
Herceptin was ready to go. Only thirty minutes later, I was outta there! I barely had time to take selfies, to show that I was actually there before I was no longer there! What a difference from the last appointment, which seemed to be so crammed with patients that each station slowed down the process to be at least three times as long as it should have been. Long days have been my normal at the cancer clinic, which is why today's accelerated time table was such a miracle to add to my gratitude about my strong lab results.
This quicker-than-usual return of my 'beast cancer' in 2020, has added to the troubles of these trying times. There have been many mornings when I don't want to get out of bed and have lost hope of ever having hair again and had thoughts of wanting to stop the battles and stop the fighting and remove the long appointments and side effects of chemotherapy and simply let nature take its course. Then, I am reminded that I am not alone on this journey. I have support from inside the walls of my home and far beyond. I feel a pull to be an example and a light. Cancer does not seem to ever give up, but neither do I, with the hope that God is on my side and will provide a way for all involved to feel the my husband and my children to also remain strong.
I hope for more good days like today. I hope for strength to keep fighting. I hope for the ability to see the light and the blessings, even when the daily troubles seem to be especially heavy. I will continue to fight.
It's ALWAYS something, but it will NEVER be more of something than I will be able to handle.
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