Bedlam and Bedrest

Last night we were working as a team of three adults {Mom, Dad, and Granna} to quickly get through the ready-for-bed routine of baths, teeth-brushing, vitamins, medicines and creams, potty, pajamas, blanket finding, stories, and prayers for the three boys so that Mommy and Daddy could go out for a quick ice cream date.  I sat down to read to The Baby while the older ones were still finishing up and suddenly paid attention to a numbing sensation in my right arm, almost like the whole arm was going to sleep.  I mentioned this to Stephen, literally trying to shake it off, while commenting that "the neuropathy must be starting to set in."  I tried not to focus too much on my arm, so I could finish getting the boys in bed.

As I helped one of the other boys brush his teeth a few minutes later, Stephen was getting the humidifier ready to go--are we EVER going to have a house free of snot and/or coughs?--and passed me in the hallway, actually getting a look at my arm..  It was red, hot, and swollen!  "No wonder it's numb!" he exclaimed, and started a further assessment.  The symptoms were only in my right arm, which was one odd thing.  Plus, swelling, pain, and redness shouldn't happen with the neuropathy caused by the chemo I am on.  More than likely, there was a problem: infection or blood clot.

Stephen knows ways to treat the swelling and pain, but was more concerned about trying to figure out what was causing it.  He had me elevate my arm, which helped, and wrap it in a heating pad, which also gave me some relief--enough to go get some ice cream.

Friday night into the weekend is not an ideal timing for one of these medical conundrums, and we already had plans!  We decided to wait overnight and see if we could call the doctor in the morning, but if the pain was too much to handle, we'd head to the ER.

I made it through the night only waking up a few times and was able to call my doctor's office on the way to the egg hunt to leave a message for her to call.  I tried to put on a happy face so the boys could enjoy the magic of another holiday, but could only handle being up and moving for so long.  When the doctor called, she wanted to see me right away.

After examining my arm, Dr. N confirmed what Stephen had figured: that it was probably from a blood clot or an infection because swelling, redness, and heat is not related to the neuropathy.  Since this was only happening in my arm was a good sign--if it was a leg it would be more likely to get into my lungs.  She tried to get me in for a test today, but it will have to wait until Monday, so she put me on a blood thinner, an antibiotic, and bedrest.

Getting the meds was a story in itself. The original prescription was denied by the pharmacist due to an adverse reaction with something else I'm taking.  The second antibiotic was a no-go because it has amoxicillin in it--an allergy of mine.  The pharmacist said I could try it if I didn't think I was REALLY allergic to penicillin, but if not, she'd have to call the doctor AGAIN.  I thought it might be okay, but second-guessed that decision and had to wait AGAIN for a new, safe for me prescription.  Talk about adding craziness on top of an already crazy day.   

I finally made it home and into bed for my prescribed rest.  I have never before been on bedrest.  It's not my favorite.  It adds to my already compounding feeling of being an absentee mother and the frustration of not being able to do even a few of the many things I want and need to do.  It's my mom's last full day here, and I wanted to go out with her.  The weather is gorgeous outside, and I was hoping to take the boys to the park, or even push them on the swings in our backyard.  Instead, I watched a movie with a boy on a swing and cried.  I really wanted to wear my St. Patty's Day green stuff out tomorrow.  Now, I'll just be lucky to get out of bed to check with the boys if we caught a leprechaun in our trap.

I guess the real craziness thing in all of this is that whenever I think I get a handle on cancer, chemo, and all of the ups and downs it causes to regular life, something else is thrown my way.  Whenever I feel like I have the stress of this trial under control, a new difficulty is put in my path.  If I ever feel like I'm strong enough to deal with he heaviness of this load and the uncertainty of the symptoms, something heavier is added to my load and more uncertainty arises.  For isn't it always that way in trials, and life in general, for that matter?  We are tested and tried and taught up until the level that our understanding and our strengths have been mastered and then something new is presented for us to learn or grow and become even stronger.

There will be plenty of time to ponder on what I'm supposed to be learning next in this journey---right from the comfort of my bed.  Monday morning we'll find out if I'm going to need what would be my third surgery/procedure in just the first quarter of 2013!