I did not wear a Star Wars t-shirt, but I'm sure there is some counterpart character in some galaxy far, far away that I could have been embodying today.
As I sat, and sat, and sat in the waiting area this morning, I began to ponder on what I could write about the past few weeks, leading up to this infusion.
I thought back to an amazing beach trip, a horrendous return flight, an illness of fatigue that tested negative for the Wuhan, another ramped-up round of congestion, cough, and major headaches. Between allergies and wind and pollen and fires and smoke and other crud and dirt in the air, my nose could have just been overworked. When I became fatigued and drained and unable to sleep due to the headaches because they were major sinus ones and the snot was green, I was pretty sure it was a sinus infection from all that junk. I wanted to do something about it before the infection turned into an ear infection (or two) because I have been struck with that before, with no access to needed meds before my ear drums burst.
Thankfully, I was able to get the needed meds and am on the mend.
Yes, it's another grievous saga of my journey of navigation through this universe of fighting cancer. However, I didn't want to travel straight to the tales of wars and space and the force and all the analogies in that realm. I was thinking about more.
I have this necklace with an 'M' that was a recent gift to myself.
I wore it today for positive momentum and a grateful heart.
I had to take my older sons to middle school, run home, grab a few items to take to my appointment, and head that way. As I was doing a last walk-through, I noticed my name necklace was not in place. I checked my wig and clothing and around the floor of my room and bathroom and retraced the places in that house I had walked earlier this morning to check for a locked from door or to switch a light off. Nothing. I knew there was no more time to spend in the search, and that it was a thing and not *that* important.
I did, however, say a prayer of gratitude for my health and the miracles I have been blessed with lately and long ago, and asked for safety in today's voyage. Then, I made one, little, teeny bit of a request for help, if He could, give me a clue about this *treasure* hunt I had started with no success. With little anxiety one- -way-or-the=other over finding this little symbol of hope and gratitude, I grabbed my things and headed for my car. Immediately, I had the thought that I had been driving earlier that morning, and to check. Opening the door, I saw the golden chain caught on the seatbelt, ready and waiting. The smallest, teeny-tiniest, insignificant request in faith, while acknowledging its near-meaninglessness for immediate--if at all answer that came back with an instantaneous prompt.
There are tender moments that may only be of personal significance, but are there if we seek to find them with willing hearts. That witness of God's place in our life sometimes occurs just to prompt us to move forward in faith. Sometimes, it's to remind us to remember things we already know and should never forget. We all walk an individual path of trials and travels through adversity or misadventures. An answer does not always come so quickly, or at all, on how to overcome and for what purpose we are to experience a challenge as it did for me today, but I was reminded that some things take lifetimes and require patience and perseverance.
And, sometimes there are no answers, no matter how much you ask and ponder and seek. I was reminded of something Jeffery R. Holland said:
“If for a while the harder you try, the harder it gets, take heart. So it has been with the best people who ever lived."
Today, my easy answer came, and I am healing from my infection, and infusion went fine.
If your things are fine or *fine* or not fine at all, Just remember, to keep on keeping on, look for the victories, know that the answers may come slowly and with a difficult fight. Work hard do right and someday you will find the light.
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