Two days of water and saltine crackers broke me. That, and pulling out piles of hair while combing my hair after the shower. I had a moment of self pity and cried, just so frustrated that I'm already doing this again. Why? Why, oh, why do I have to do this again, so soon after finishing the first fight? I don't want to!
I've been sticking to food to stay alive, rather than eating for enjoyment. Eating is the furthest thing from enjoyment these days, as even with a lidocaine/antac/benadryl solution, it is painful! My ear is better, which is nice, but there is a lower point in my esophagus that burns every time I swallow. I am trying the BRAT diet, with a few twists, but it's a chore to eat enough calories to keep me going. I'm doing well on staying hydrated; just have to force myself to drink water, and water is about the only thing I can drink without pain. Had Rice and chicken soup for dinner--painful going down, but did well once swallowed.
I try---oh, I try----to not let the low moments creep in, but today I found myself asking when was life going to take a break from giving me lemons? I'm getting a little tired of all this lemonade. (Who can handle all that acidity anyway?) Hopefully tomorrow will be better, and the next day a little better than that. If I am moving uphill, I'm just happy to be moving.
I've been sticking to food to stay alive, rather than eating for enjoyment. Eating is the furthest thing from enjoyment these days, as even with a lidocaine/antac/benadryl solution, it is painful! My ear is better, which is nice, but there is a lower point in my esophagus that burns every time I swallow. I am trying the BRAT diet, with a few twists, but it's a chore to eat enough calories to keep me going. I'm doing well on staying hydrated; just have to force myself to drink water, and water is about the only thing I can drink without pain. Had Rice and chicken soup for dinner--painful going down, but did well once swallowed.
I try---oh, I try----to not let the low moments creep in, but today I found myself asking when was life going to take a break from giving me lemons? I'm getting a little tired of all this lemonade. (Who can handle all that acidity anyway?) Hopefully tomorrow will be better, and the next day a little better than that. If I am moving uphill, I'm just happy to be moving.
I'm so sorry. This sucks! But you PJs are super cute. Hope tomorrow is better
ReplyDeleteI am so so sorry you have to go through this and depressing days are the worst. I wish we lived closer so I could help. Sending prayers your way!
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